moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
