You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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