the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
