dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
