Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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