i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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