He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
