No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My vagina is officially offended.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
