if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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