Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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