I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
