Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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