its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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