I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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