Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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