When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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