Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
