What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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