Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Drake has all the answers
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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