Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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