If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
