do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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