So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
