How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I need moral support for this bender
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
