similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
