she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
