who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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