he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So much rum. So many feels.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
