Sry I called you an 8
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
