just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
