let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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