Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I understand Curling. That high.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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