The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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