I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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