Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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