Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
