STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
