Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
