You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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