Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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