Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
God I need to hump something, right now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
