I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
