im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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