I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
