I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
