You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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