I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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