was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
