I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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