All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
