He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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